A question I’ve asked myself many times.
Over the course of my life, I’ve been amazed by stories of people who prayed earnestly and heard the Lord in return—whether through dreams, visions, a friend, or even a physical event.
So naturally, when it came time for me to pray and seek the Lord about big life decisions, I expected the same thing.
But I didn’t hear an audible voice. I didn’t have a dream that suddenly made everything clear. I didn’t get the unmistakable answer I had been asking for.
At the time, I was wrestling with the possibility of leaving a place I had called home for the past two years and starting over somewhere completely new. It wasn’t just a decision about a school. It meant leaving people I loved, stepping away from what was familiar, and trusting the Lord with a future I couldn’t see yet.
To give some context: I’ve been a believer my whole life, but for about four years now, I’ve actually lived it out. And with that, I’ve grown up with a common phrase in my vocabulary: “I’ll pray about it!”
Let me be honest here: rarely did I ever actually pray about it.
I say all of this because eight months ago was the first time I intentionally and earnestly prayed about something before the Lord. I offered it to Him. It was the first time it wasn’t about what Lauren wanted, but rather what the Lord wanted.
And the timing of this prayer wasn’t random. I was standing at a point in my life where I had a decision to make—one that carried a lot of weight for me. There were things I wanted, things I was afraid of, and a lot of unknowns about what the future would look like.
I had my own ideas of what I thought should happen, but for the first time, I was genuinely trying to lay those ideas down and ask, “Lord, what do You want?”
That sounds simple. But actually surrendering the answer was a lot harder than I expected.
As I began praying and seeking the Lord, I couldn’t quite understand what He was telling me. I remember sitting in my car one day after a long drive, talking to the Lord and asking Him to show me the truth. I wanted clarity. I wanted to know what He was saying.
But after a couple of weeks of praying, I saw nothing. I heard nothing.
I felt as though all the obedience and faith it took for me to continuously pray and ask Him for direction wasn’t being heard.
As I began to grow weary, I remember asking myself, “What on earth am I doing wrong?” The stories that once felt encouraging now began to feel discouraging. I found myself asking, “Why isn’t the Lord showing up for me in the ways He did for them?”
Let me be clear: the discouragement of not hearing anything from the Lord is real. And years ago, that disappointment probably would have been enough for me to give up and stop praying altogether.
But this time was different.
I had brought my community into the wrestle, and instead of letting me give up, they encouraged me to keep praying. To keep seeking. To keep asking the Lord what He wanted, even when I couldn’t understand what He was doing.
So that’s what I did.
And as time went on, the decision in front of me became stronger and more apparent.
One day in mid-April, I decided I wanted to go on a walk. More specifically, a prayer walk. One where it was just me and the Lord.
I did this hoping that, in the silence, the Lord would give me a word or maybe a phrase that would help me make my decision.
Again, nothing.
And then it hit me.
What does this silence mean? Is this the way the Lord is communicating with me?
I once heard someone compare prayer and communicating with God to a GPS. When you’re driving, your GPS isn’t constantly reassuring you every few minutes, telling you that you’re still on the right road. It simply gives you the direction and lets you keep going. But when you make a wrong turn, it speaks up and redirects you.
Maybe prayer is a little like that.
Sometimes God’s silence doesn’t mean He isn’t there or that we’re going the wrong way. Sometimes it means we can keep moving forward, trusting that if we need to be redirected, He will make that clear.
I realized that all this time, I had been putting so much pressure on God to give me a clear, physical sign that I was making the right decision that I was missing what He had already been giving me.
His silence.
His trust in the path I was already on—the desire I had already been carrying to take a step into something new.
I remember praying to Jesus after having this realization, and for the first time, I felt like I wasn’t trying to fit God into the way I thought He should speak.
Instead, I was beginning to see Him for who He is: a God who is always there, even when our sinful hearts and minds struggle to recognize Him.
Psalm 145:18 says, “The Lord is near to all who call on him.”
In the middle of all my doubts, I felt the Lord reminding me: My daughter, you have Me in you. You have the Holy Spirit. You are equipped. You can move forward.
And maybe that was the answer I had been looking for all along.
Not a sign.
Not a voice.
But the reminder that I was never walking alone.
I say all of this because the beautiful stories of visions, dreams, or physical signs are wonderful ways the Lord can communicate with us. But they aren’t the only way.
When Jesus generously died the death we deserved, He gave us an incredible gift in return: the Holy Spirit. And through the Holy Spirit, we have the gift of discernment. We don’t have to constantly wait for a supernatural sign to know that God is near or that He is leading us.
We have His Word.
We have His Spirit.
We have prayer.
And we have community.
Now, eight months later, I’m sitting in my new house, in a new state, and at a new school.
The peace and confidence I have in making this decision and being here right now is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
What a way to live—to surrender control to the One who already knows what our future holds. He sees what we can’t see and knows what is best for us, even when we don’t understand it.
Who better could we possibly consult?
So my encouragement to you is this: invite community into your wrestle. Read God’s Word and ask whether your desires align with His. And most importantly, intentionally spend time with Him.
You may not always hear an audible voice.
You may not always receive a sign.
You may not always get the answer in the way you expected.
But that doesn’t mean He isn’t speaking.
And it certainly doesn’t mean He isn’t there.
Here’s a photo of some of the rich community I’ve found in North Carolina so far! The Lord has abundantly more than we could ever expect. Trust Him!!!
